


Hidden

by CaptainToastedWaffle



Category: Glee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 10:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2808407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainToastedWaffle/pseuds/CaptainToastedWaffle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff didnt know when he had first realised he was in love with his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hidden

Jeff didn’t know when he had first realized he was in love with his best friend. If he had to take a guess, he supposed it would be when they were twelve years old and Nick had stepped in to stop a group of bullies beating Jeff up. Lying on the ground surrounded by kids, gazing up at the brunette who stood fiercely in front of him, boldly declaring that anyone who wanted to hurt Jeff was going to have to go through him first, Jeff had felt a sense of safety that he had previously only ever felt around his parents wash over him. Of course, with the amount of kids surrounding them, Nick only succeeded in getting them both beaten up, but even as he limped home covered in bruises, Jeff had still felt happy. Because now he knew there was someone who cared enough about him to try to help him. Someone who cared so much that even the prospect of getting hurt didn’t stop them from trying to protect Jeff. Nick had made him feel like he was actually worth something that day, and, if Jeff was being honest, that was the moment that he had stopped looking at Nick as just a friend and started looking at him as someone he wanted to have a relationship with. He hadn’t realized it at the time – he hadn’t even been willing to admit to himself that he was gay until he was fifteen – but that was the moment that things changed. Nick and Jeff had always had a very physical friendship; they were fond of long hugs and cuddling during movie nights, but it had always been innocent, and if Jeff liked it that bit too much, he shoved it to the back of his mind and told himself it was just because they were such good friends. He had dated girls in an attempt to find someone who made him feel the same way Nick did, because Nick was his friend. They were practically brothers. Jeff couldn’t feel like that about him. He couldn’t. So he had girlfriend after girlfriend, not managing to conjure up any emotion more than fondness for any of them, and eventually, after starting at Dalton and seeing so many people be open about their sexuality, he realized that he was gay. He stopped seeing girls, but he still hadn’t told anybody that he was gay. He told himself he was just waiting for the right time, or that there was no need to tell anybody – it wasn’t their business – but the truth was he was scared. He was scared his parents might not be accepting, he was scared of the bullying re-starting (he knew Dalton had a zero-tolerance policy, but he had no idea if that would actually be enforced should the situation arise), but mostly he was scared of how Nick would react. What if Nick didn’t want to be as close when he found out? What if he didn’t want to hug Jeff anymore, or if he stopped letting him cuddle up to him during movie nights? Worse, what if he stopped wanting to be friends with Jeff altogether? Deep down, he knew these thoughts were ridiculous – Nick had never shown a problem with Trent or Blaine or Kurt or any of the other boys they knew who were openly gay – but the doubts still lingered in the forefront of his mind, needling at him every time he thought about telling Nick about his sexuality. And besides, even if he did come out and everyone was fine with it, they might start asking him about crushes, and there was no way he could ever, ever tell anyone he liked Nick. No, scratch that, he freaking loved the other Warbler. And it didn’t matter one little bit, because his roommate was as straight as they come. He would rather keep it to himself and have things continue as they are than tell the truth and ruin everything. As long as he still got to have Nick as his best friend and still got to spend time with him and have everything stay the way they are, then he could handle it. He would keep it stuffed down inside of him, and pretend the feelings weren’t there. If he pretended hard enough, he could almost believe it himself. Almost.


End file.
